pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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