He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
