Your tits are I can't wait for
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
