I must be too annoying 4 u.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
