You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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