Betty ford says i'm here all night
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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