Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
