I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
