I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
