my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
50% drunk capacity currently
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
