I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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