Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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