? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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