It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
