there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
