is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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