I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
