Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
