:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
