Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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