Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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