..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
