Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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