She is in my trunk
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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