you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Just high enough for therapy.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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