I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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