I can text with my tongue
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
