And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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