Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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