O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
