i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Less talking, more tequila
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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