people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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