I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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