My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
