So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
