Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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