You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
