so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
