How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
