well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
