just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
