I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize