absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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