One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
