im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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