kristin has been a bad kristin
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
