Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
