We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I'm always down for nudity.
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