I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
