I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
