he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
