did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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