that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
