"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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