he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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