Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
