i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
we're making bets on your personal life
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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