No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
i've created a new STD.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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