Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
