So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
