How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize