If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize