therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
