Where did you get a picture of my penis
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
im holly from the hills drunk
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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